Narrator: But despite the efforts of Protestants to promote the idea of sex for pleasure, children continue to multiply everywhere. Because their Church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages, and the domination of alien episcopal supremacy. In fact, today I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.' Mrs Blackitt: Well, why don't you? Mr Blackitt: But they! They cannot.
But I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high, and say in a loud steady voice: 'Harry I want you to sell me a condom. Mrs Blackitt: Have you got one? Mr Blackitt: Well, no. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress. Mrs Blackitt: You what? Mr Blackitt: French Ticklers, Black Mambos, Crocodile Ribs. Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. And Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom.
MONTY PYTHON FULL
Mr Blackitt: When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas. Mum ( singing): Hindu, Taoist, Mormon spill theirs just anywhere,īut God loves those who treat their semen with more care. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. But if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.ĭad ( singing): Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. They preserved the might and majesty, even the mystery, of the Church of Rome, the sanctity of the sacrament, and the indivisible oneness of the Trinity. Oh, they've done some wonderful things in their time. Blame the Catholic Church for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things. I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments. It's available on Betamax, VHS, and Super 8.ĭad: The mill's closed. So it's lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. You may find that you suffer for some time a totally irrational feeling of depression. Patient: Is it a boy or a girl? Obstetrician: Now, I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it, don't you? Now, a word of advice. Hospital Administrator: Thank you, thank you. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to - that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account. Hospital Administrator: Ah, I see you have the machine that goes 'ping!'. Patient: What do I do? Obstetrician: Nothing, dear, you're not qualified. Obstetrician 1: And get the most expensive machine - in case the Administrator comes. Obstetrician 2: And get the machine that goes 'ping!'. Part I: The Miracle of Birth Obstetrician 1: Get the EEG, the BP monitor, and the AVV.
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